Hello from Bear and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
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I love you, Bear.
I love you, Curadh.
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This is episode 80 of the Bear and Curadh Podcast.
We are going to talk about amputation.
What is amputation?
Amputation is when you have a limb removed or partially
removed from the body.
Could be a whole limb or it could be a part of a limb.
Could be a finger.
Could be a leg.
Could be a foot.
Could be a whole leg.
Could be a whole arm.
It has to be a limb.
It couldn't be like an eye.
No, I don't think so.
I don't think that we could be considered an amputation.
What about a penis?
Can they be amputated?
Well, I think it's an appendage.
So, I guess so.
That would suck if you had your penis cut off.
But yeah, I think imagine any kind of appendage
would be considered an amputation.
So, if you had me removed, that would be an amputation.
No.
I'm the rep you removed.
But I'm an appendage.
You're not an appendage in my husband's jerk.
What are some of the most common reasons for amputation?
Illness, catastrophic injury, infection.
Like I said, illness, sickness to better someone's health.
It really runs a gambit on everything really
that I could think of.
You know, a lot of warriors have lost things
amputated to, to IEDs, stuff like that.
We've gained a lot of medical technology
because of that, because of the war in Afghanistan.
And I racked and stuff like that.
But yeah, mostly, you know, infection,
that's whipped up mind.
The first time was infection.
So, it really can run the gambit on--
So, in most cases, it's a medical necessity.
Yeah, yeah.
In other cases, like when you had a bottom go off in your hand
or something, it had to be amputated.
Yeah, it's always medically necessary pretty much.
The limb can't be saved.
Like, I know people who have gotten into motorcycle accidents
and they'll go through like 20, 30 surgeries to save--
I'm just kidding.
To save the limb.
And they finally just decide to amputate the leg
or the arm just because it can't be saved.
And I suppose some people get things amputated optionally
and not for any good reason.
I would hope not.
I can't imagine why someone would do that.
I mean, there's probably-- there's fetishes for everything.
Yeah, that's pretty stupid because there's nothing
easy about it, nothing easy whatsoever about it.
So, if someone actually chooses to get something amputated
by choice for some sort of fetish, their idiot-- sorry.
Sorry, insulin pump going off like usual.
So yeah, that's what I have to say about that.
If someone does it for fun and shits and giggles,
then they're an idiot, because it drastically changes your life.
And I think you would have a difficult time getting a surgeon
to do something that was not medically necessary.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, any surgeon that's bringing the head, you know what I mean.
But imagine there's probably surgeons out there
that would do it back alley, but you'd probably do it for fun.
Well, there are surgeons who perform
circumcision all the time.
And I would not consider that medically necessary.
I mean, you're circumcised.
I'm circumcised.
Not by choice.
So, I mean--
And it wasn't a religious thing for us, either.
It was just-- everybody added that.
What people did.
Yeah.
So, what are the risks and the benefits of amputation?
What do you think?
Death.
Well, I'm thinking beyond the surgery.
Quality of life.
Yeah, you have a greater chance of falling and causing
other injuries.
Yeah.
Quality of-- I mean, things you can't do.
Like it sucks that I've lost my leg, but I can't
imagine losing one of my hands.
Like if I lost my right hand, I don't
know what I would do, because I draw.
You wouldn't be able to wipe your ass.
Well, I think I learned how to use my left hand to do that.
I mean, that would be necessary.
But I guess I could learn how to draw with my left hand.
Isn't there an attendant in Islamic law for some major offenses?
They remove their right hand.
For stealing, because that forces them to then wipe their ass
with the same hand that they eat with.
Oh, really?
That's pretty barbaric.
Oh, that's the case.
But I don't know.
That's pretty extreme, too.
I don't know how true that is.
I don't know, either.
So, I probably should have researched that before I mentioned it.
Yeah.
We didn't mean to insult anybody's religion, either,
by that statement.
So, I mean, there's risks and there's benefits of it.
You know what I mean?
The benefits-- you can save your life, you know?
When I first had my leg amputated,
it was infected with osteomyelitis, which
was pretty much click-and-grain of my leg.
If it continued, it would eventually
gotten to my blood system and killed me.
And when I first had my leg amputated,
when years ago, they did a blood transfer
during the same week that I was in the hospital,
because they were worried that it was still in my blood,
I believe.
But the reason we're talking about this, too,
just to let everybody know is that I actually
had my stump-- what do they call it?
I think it called the ring reduction.
A revision, a stump revision.
I just-- when people ask, I just
say that you got a second amputation,
because people understand that.
It's easier.
Yeah.
Basically, they went in.
I had an infection in my leg.
I had a wound in my leg, because I would not heal.
The doctors thought it was best to go in and remove.
Since I had more than I needed of my leg to still
have a lot of any prosthetic.
But they decided that it was better off
to remove the part where the sore was--
the infected wound was.
And so that's what I did today.
So actually, about less than 12 hours ago,
I was in surgery having my stump revised
toward another amputation taking place.
So, I'm a trooper.
I'm doing the podcast.
And the same day that I had a mess of surgery.
Well, the main reason for that is to let you get this podcast
in before that nerve blocker runs out.
Yeah, because I'm like, you're not going to be--
do it feel like doing anything like a podcast when that runs out.
I'm like, I don't want to pretty much do anything at all.
I'm not looking forward to that wearing off, so.
But we'll cross that bridge when I get there, so.
And those blockers do miracle.
When I had those six screws put in my foot,
I woke up from the surgery in such pain.
That's what I was like this morning.
And they said, OK, we'll put a block around.
And for 24 hours, I basically had no pain from the surgery.
Yeah, I still have pain today, though.
I mean, it still hurts.
And so right now, I'm going through sharp pains every three
minutes.
It's not as bad as it was due to medical technology and painkillers.
But yeah, it still hurts.
The blocker has helped a ton.
Because when I came out of surgery, it was unbearable.
So, I'm very happy that they did the blocker on that.
I can't imagine what people went through before that was available.
It's crazy.
Like, you actually throw movies and people bite into a stick
and chop something off.
And then they'll solder it or solder it.
Or not solder it, it's cauterizing it.
Yeah, I can't imagine the pain.
You've got to be one tough cookie to handle that.
I mean, today, I guess I could have handled it,
but I would have been a miserable, miserable, miserable human
being.
I just didn't understand why they didn't do the nerve block
while it was still out cold.
Well, you probably don't remember much about that time.
I know I didn't.
But they basically kind of feel around
to try to find the right nerve.
Yeah, well, they use an ultrasound.
I watched what they did, then an ultrasound.
And I was watching them do that.
Because I thought it was impressive.
Like, how they could watch that and look through the ultrasound
and then find the nerve to actually do the injection on it.
So, I was kind of neat watching that.
But yeah, they kind of wiggled around the needle
in the back of my leg and found it.
It was kind of like, right below my knee joint,
where they did it from.
Because they rolled this down.
And then they did it like right in the middle of the back of my thigh.
And that's where they numb it from.
Blocked it on the way down though.
So, what was it like to first discover
you needed a reputation?
The first time around, it's a life-changing.
Very life-altering.
Everything you know, sorry, changes.
Excuse me, sorry.
I mean, you're thankful you're still alive,
but everything becomes more difficult.
You jump in.
It's just tough.
It's real tough.
It's just everything that you know, changes.
And you've got to work through it.
And it's a lot of work.
But it makes you stronger, I guess it builds character.
But it's tough.
That's really all I can kind of say about it,
even this goes around rough.
The first time I had it done, it was a shock, it was a surprise.
It just kind of came out of the left field.
And then this time I had plenty of time to prepare for it.
But I felt like this time around.
I felt like a great cloud was forming around for like the past three weeks.
I wasn't happy to receive the news about this,
because basically I have to take off the next so many months until he heals.
Because for my job, I'm on my feet 24 or 24/7.
For my job, I work on my feet the whole time.
So, I'll be out of work until my leg heals.
So, but the good thing is, I'm still below the knee,
the amputee, they don't have to go above the knee.
So that's a different ball game when you have to go above the knee.
It's only different prosthetic.
You have to really learn how to walk again, because it's all in your hip.
And the motion of your leg, a lot more technologies involved.
But yeah, it's just, but I'm still here.
So, I remember when you got your first amputation,
you didn't seem completely surprised by it.
And you were, I don't know, I want to say familiar with the process,
because your grandfather had that done.
Yeah, my grandfather also liked him more too.
And he was above the knee, he was from the hip down.
So, I grew up with my, you know, familiar with the situation.
And I saw him get around fine.
So, I knew I could do it.
But it's a lot of work.
I don't like walking with a limp.
I refuse to walk with a limp.
A lot of people make comments about how well I do walk.
Even though you say I'm a pigeon toad.
But it is work, it's something to adapt to.
And it's a challenge that I willingly took on.
But I had no choice in the matter.
Because obviously, if I could, I'd still have my leg.
But that's not the card that I was dealt with.
Do you think that the way that you walk,
you know, trying to not show a limp,
you think maybe that's made your prosthetic rub?
Yeah, well, maybe that led to your problems you have now.
No, I don't think so.
I think it just happens.
I think, you know, I've read so many articles
about people having to have some provisions after so many years.
It's kind of common, especially with diabetics.
We don't heal as well as regular people do.
So, it just, it happens.
But no, I don't think me trying to walk like a normal person
really had anything to do with it.
I sort of got the impression that your doctor,
our orthopedic doctor, sort of blamed the surgeon
who did your amputation because he was just a general surgeon.
He looked like a specialist in this.
Yeah.
Do you get that impression too?
Yeah, a little bit by the comments that he made in the pre-op meeting,
they kind of let them down that road, it seemed like.
So perhaps this may fix whatever problem you had before,
and maybe you won't have those kinds of problems anymore?
Hopefully, that's the hope out of the surgery.
So, fingers crossed.
Yeah.
How has your amputation affected your life?
Oh, it changes everything.
You can't do things that you used to be able to do.
Like, I used to go golfing, can't do that anymore.
I mean, I just-- why?
It's too difficult.
It could be dangerous.
I know that you want to, but I have told you I don't want you to.
And that is because you do not have a foot.
So, if you stand, if you put your foot in a hole,
unless you're looking down at it, you have no idea your foot is in a hole.
And you could trip and fall and make it so much worse.
Yeah, I could break something, fall, break something.
And then, I mean, you have to worry about the prosthetic rubbing
the stump again.
And then, I mean, there's too many risks involved.
I mean, I probably could go off, but it's not worth the risk outweighs the reward.
And you and I do the putt putt golf, which doesn't involve much walking.
And it still has all of the qualities of golfing with that so much of the walking.
It's probably not an exercise at all, but it's just something entertaining.
What are the challenges of living with any habitation?
Well, like I said, it changes everything.
I can't just hop up in the middle of the night and go use the restroom.
I have to either put on my prosthetic or grab a knee scooter or a walker or a scooter just
to go do something.
And after the surgery, they kind of advised you not to use a knee scooter, which I guess
I can understand, and you don't know how long you're going to follow those rules.
The electric scooter is big and unwieldy, and you've already discovered it's difficult
to get into the bathroom and back out again.
Yeah, I seem to be doing all right with it though.
I've gotten into the kitchen in and out of the kitchen a few times when you went and lay down
already, but I'm stubborn too.
I'm not going to let something hold me back.
Probably to my own detriment, but I never let it hold me back before.
I'm not going to let it hold me back now.
So as long as I don't fall, I'm good.
You know, the more I do, the more chances I do have a falling, which is what I would prefer
you to use to the electric scooter than the walker, because when you fall on the walker,
you fall right onto the walker and cause a lot of damage.
And it hurts, because I've fallen and teabum myself on the walker before, and it's not fun.
I've cracked a few ribs doing that before, so.
But it infects your life in every way, you know, you're missing a limb.
Things that you took for granted before are no longer available to you, so it sucks.
But, you know, what do you do?
You just can't roll over and call today, you know what I mean?
It's just not my style, I'm not going to just sit on the couch, I sit on the couch and
knock, and that's what's bothering me the most probably about this surgery now is that
I'm not going to be able to be active for quite a while, and I'm quite a social person.
So, the lack of work and being out amongst friends and co-workers is going to drive me crazy.
You know, my job drives me not sometimes, it's still work, and I do enjoy being around
people and talking to them and visiting with them and stuff like that, and now I can't.
Well, I'm glad that we did get the electric scooter so much.
Even though we paid for that out of pocket, it was just too difficult to get insurance to
pay for it.
So, as long as we can go someplace where there's a ramp, you know, where you don't have to
go upstairs, I think we can go pretty much anywhere.
Yeah.
So, what are the resources available to people living with an amputation?
Oh, there's a ton.
It's a medical technology that's out there right now.
If you want to walk, you can walk again.
And I know there's other forms of amputation, but I really can't speak on those.
So, I mean, but there's a ton of resources.
But even besides that, I mean, they have support groups for people who are going through amputations.
It's going back to the support groups that you'd like to do.
I don't know.
I felt like that's when it's coarse.
I felt like, I don't know, I feel like it's been there done that.
It opened my eyes.
I learned a lot.
But I was there.
I realized that I had its kind of easy compared to some people.
You know, when you're just missing below the knee and then you go to a support group meeting
and there's someone in there who's missing both legs and an arm, it kind of brings you
right back down to earth where you really don't have it that bad.
Oh, yes.
I do remember the woman who lost both hands.
Yeah.
She said, the first thing I thought when I woke up from the surgery is, how am I going to
pick my nose?
Yeah.
Galo's humor at the support group, excuse me.
And some of that, you've kind of retained every once in a while, when something is taking
too long to tell them, please hurry up because I already have one foot in the grave.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
I mean, you've got to chuckle about it, you know what I mean?
You know, I chuckle.
You know, people like, hell's the leg, I always tell them, I'm like, I don't know, I still haven't
found it.
So, I mean, you've got to take it as a grain of salt, you know, you've got to chuckle
out it.
You know what I mean, laugh in the face of adversity.
I believe the guy who runs the support group sent you a message saying, if you want to
chuck that.
Yeah.
So, I haven't contacted him a back yet, because I put a thing on Facebook about my
reputation.
So, so far, I've got a lot of support for a friend's family, so that means a lot.
And there's a lot of support just from the general public.
I mean, it's a very obvious thing that you have.
Yeah.
It's not called back.
I mean, it's obviously never going to come back, so there are regularly people who assume
that you were in the military.
Yeah.
Quite a bit.
It's because I'm in that age group.
Yeah.
So, what is the outlook for people living with any reputation?
Well, you can go on and pretty much live a normal life as much as normal can be.
I would say, I mean, it's, you know, things change, but you still can lead, you know, like
I work, you know, I don't work full time, but I still put in 30 hours a week.
There are some people who, they don't, you know, people who run marathons, I don't like running,
so, I'm not going to run a marathon.
Yeah.
I've never been a fan of running unless something was chasing me.
Yeah.
I had two legs, a lot of them, I'm not going to do it when I got one, but, I mean, some people
just manage it.
I mean, there was a woman that actually climbed Mount Everest.
She lost her leg over in Iraq or Afghanistan, and she climbed Mount Everest, which I find insane
and I don't see the point of ever doing that, but I teach it around.
It's not like there's candy at the end or something.
No.
There's a bunch of dead bodies there already, warning you not to do this.
Yeah.
What is that expression that Mount Everest is littered with the bodies of highly motivated
people?
Yeah.
So, yeah, you can lead an event for them, you know, just their normal life afterwards.
It's just, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's just another hiccup, another bump in the road
like my mom says.
It becomes your new normal.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Sorry.
What are the things you find most helpful in managing your reputation?
Just having an urge to get up and go, not letting it define me, viewing it as a challenge.
I'm still going to do things like that I used to do.
You know, I still enjoy a lot of things, you know, I mean, it's a bowl of stuff like that.
I mean, there's stuff that I don't do any longer that I probably still could do, but it's
just, it's not worth it.
The risk is not worth a reward, so, but, so, yeah.
I don't know that you answered the question.
Where are things the most helpful in managing your reputation?
Well, loved ones, having loved ones, having support group, having people there for you.
Your prosthetic is probably the biggest thing.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
That's the obvious thing.
You know, you're prosthetic with the technology that's around nowadays.
You can pretty much leave a normal life, so, I mean, there's a lot of tools out there to
leave a normal life, you know.
And prosthetics have changed a long way from, you know, an old wooden leg.
Yeah.
Like my grandfather, he had a wooden leg, and now my leg is made of titanium and carbon fiber.
It basically has springs like tendons in it to give you a more natural gage.
And then, like, people who have above the knee amputation, some of those legs have microprocessors
on them, where it's like a robot leg that actually, the, the, the foot locks actually bend
and form around things you step on and the ankle will move, the toes will move, stuff
like that.
And a lot of that technology came from wounded warriors.
Yeah.
When the warrior, you know, as awful as a warrior is, a lot of good things come out of it for
people who are injured.
That's a great way of looking at it.
Yeah.
So, I answer the question now.
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
What are the implications of the latest research on amputation for people living with an
amputation?
It's, they're coming up with new things all the time.
New feet, new hands, new arms, new legs, just technology.
I seriously doubt that they're ever going to find a medical way of re-growing the limb.
No.
I mean, they're having a hard enough time growing ears, let alone a moving, working limb
that has muscle and sinew and, that has autonomy by itself, it's, it's, it's too difficult.
And if you could regrow a limb, I imagine how painful that would be.
Yeah.
No.
I can't imagine.
So, but yeah, the research is amazing that's going on out there.
I don't even know half of it, but I know there's a ton of it going on.
So, it's a multi-billion-dollar industry, because there's a lot of people out there with it.
And unfortunately, we live in a country where there's no universal healthcare, so if you
don't have insurance, you're kind of screwed.
Yeah, you don't have access to that technology.
I mean, some of it you do, I'm, I'm, by the good grace of good people.
I know your prosthetists does a lot of work with people who really just can't afford it.
And I mean, we were in that situation for a while, and he's helped out quite a bit, so.
What advice would you give to someone who's just had an amputation?
Keep your chin up.
It'll get better.
Uh, does it really get better?
You're alive.
Does it just become you new normal?
It becomes you new normal, but I mean you're alive.
I mean, the alternative is I could be dead right now, and I'm not.
So, I didn't know that just sounds like kind of hollow advice.
Um, that's, that's, that's my normal.
I mean, it's like you said, it's my new normal, but you know, what am I going to do?
Am I just going to sit here and pound about it?
Or am I going to pull myself up by the air quote bootstraps and live another day?
Well, um, as you said, um, you don't have a need for the support group anymore, but
I believe when you were first dealing with it, it was probably the most important thing
you did.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
It helped quite a bit.
Um, being able to, I want to say, like, commiserate, but it's more than that to talk to
other people going through the same thing.
It's kind of like a fraternity, you have something in common with those people, so.
You see that, um, you'll meet a stranger who has a prosthetic and you, the two of your kind
of give each other a look.
Yeah.
Kind of give each other a nod because they know what you're going through.
I know what they're going through.
You both belong to a club.
Yeah.
It's true love because there's, and it's funny because there's, there's customers of mine
that will come in that will only deal with me that are amputees and they will only deal
with me at work because we're part of the same group, I guess.
But, you know, it's like Angela said, you know, it is like a special group.
We all kind of make eye contact and just give the head nod like, I know what you're going
through.
Been there, done that.
So, it's like a special, our own special fraternity or sorority.
So.
But one that you wouldn't want to join?
No.
Nope.
But, you know, the, the cards that I've been dealt.
So.
Well, how do you feel about your recovery?
It's going to be a long road, but I'll get through it.
I don't know that it's going to feel as long as you think.
We're talking months.
Well, that's better than years.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course, but I mean, it's still a long time.
Well, when I had the six screws put in my foot by that same doctor, I, at the time, felt
like it was never, ever going to get better and, and never going to.
But, but now, now that I'm better, it doesn't hardly seem like it was any time at all.
Hmm.
That's good.
Yeah, I mean, you know, since the first surgery, it's been, what, the 11 years.
And, you know, I can't say that it feels like a long time or not.
Well, you've known me, though, me and you've been together for the whole time, better than
the leg.
I mean, we started dating in November.
I lost my leg at March.
Yeah, I've hardly known you any other way.
But still, when I, you know, when someone says your name, and I think of you, I don't think
of a disabled person.
And, thank you.
I don't see you that way in my head.
Well, thank you.
That means a lot.
Love you.
Love you back.
Come.
Oh.
It's your favorite time of the week, so what is your favorite joke right now?
What do you call a tube and in, as on the floor?
Slip and slide.
You close.
What is it?
Slippers.
There you go.
I was close.
That's a good one, though.
All right.
We hope you've enjoyed episode 80 of The Baehr and Curadh Podcast.
This is Bear.
And this is Curadh.
Goodbye.
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Goodbye.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh podcast, a production of the Land of Awes
Information Services. We can be contacted via email using the address podcast@awes.com
and Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.
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