Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
[Music]
I love you, Curadh.
I love you, Baehr.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
This is episode 105 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to talk about some deep concepts.
What would you do if you found out you were adopted?
Interesting question.
I think it might explain a lot.
Probably.
Yeah, because you are kind of the...
I don't want to say black sheep in a family, but...
We'll say outlier.
Yeah, you're the outlier.
I'd be interesting, I mean, be really good secret BL for a long time, you know what I mean?
I had a partner for a while that was at that situation.
He did not find out that he was adopted until he was an adult.
Did a father...
He didn't talk like he did.
And he actually...
He took after his family that raised him, because he liked to fight all the time.
He was from a big Italian family and they bickered constantly and that's what he liked to do.
It wore on me.
No, I bet.
You're not very...
What's the proper word?
I don't like conflict.
Yeah.
And it turned out, do you remember the Dick Van Dyke show in that show?
He had...
He was a writer for a TV show in that series, and he had two other writers, a man and a woman,
and I can't remember the character's names or the actor's name, but the woman was his
actual birth mother.
No, I'm really...
What if he was...
What if his dad was Dick Van Dyke?
No, his father was...
His father was his biological father.
The woman who raised him knew that he was not her child, but raised her as though he was.
He didn't know about it until he was an adult.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Did he ever meet his biological mother?
I don't know.
I never asked.
Hmm.
Be interesting.
Well, back then, I mean, if she had a man at Whitlock, it would probably be...
That's when it was a big hush, I should know now.
So...
Probably very, very few people knew then.
Yeah.
I don't know what I would do, really.
I don't think anything would change.
I mean, I would still view my mom as my mom, I think, especially in this thing in life.
I mean, I'm 50 years old.
I mean...
The chances of my meeting, if I did actually have different biological parents, they're
probably dead and gone anyway.
So, yeah, I don't think you would change anything.
Everybody says you are exactly like your father.
Yeah.
So...
Everybody says that about me too, so I don't think it's a possibility.
Yeah.
Yeah, so...
I don't think really I have to worry about that at all.
But it's a very interesting question.
Oh, yeah, very interesting question, but I think we're both pretty safe.
Mm-hmm.
So...
Not that being adopted is bad or anything?
No.
Not at all.
No, but we'd probably need more adoptions, instead of also cancer like that.
So...
But yeah, there's absolutely nothing wrong with adoption.
What if you found out that you were the star of the Truman show?
Would you mean I'm not already?
That's an interesting concept too.
I think I'm freaking out, I think, you know, you actually realize that the world was watching
everything you did.
I think your attitude will change quite a bit.
I think you're...
Think about all those times you masturbated.
Yeah.
Things you do around when people aren't around.
Yeah.
Things you do and say, you know, some good things the ones around that hear that, and then
find out that the whole world is actually watching you.
So...
I never thought about that, but I have thought that perhaps that I'm a character in a video
game or something.
Okay.
Very, very elaborate game.
Yeah, pretty much the same thing.
Maybe because I've lived kind of a charmed life, I think.
Things could have been a lot worse for me.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be, would you change anything?
I don't know how I could.
Yeah.
Well, you'd be...
You know you're famous.
Hmm.
And that's for more money.
Yeah.
But...
And they said, your show's canceled.
Yeah, exactly.
You just lost your show.
Sorry.
Everyone around the world hears, "Mom, mom, mom!"
So...
All right.
Interesting that we can take such deep concepts and make them funny.
Yeah.
What habit do you have that you think that many other people have?
I'm thoughtful.
Are you?
I think about things before I do them.
Yeah.
So many people just live their life by the sea of their pants.
It really annoys me.
You know, you married me, all right?
Yeah.
No, I tried to.
I'm not very good at it, but...
No, you plan everything out.
Really the only way that we can plan things out is if I say, "Okay, this is what we're going
to do, and how should we do it?"
Yeah.
'Cause I am more alive by the sea of my pants and everything.
Yeah.
And that drives you crazy.
You want to...
You want things planned out like a week or two in advance, or I'm more spontaneous.
Well, I can't think of...
I have it, and I have it, and many people don't have.
I'm pretty boring.
I don't think boring is just a habit that other people want.
Yeah.
So, I guess something that's my habit is boring.
Yeah, I really don't think.
Nothing stands out to me, really.
Do you think...
I mean...
What do you think?
No, I can't think of anything, is it?
Yeah.
What gross and unhingenic things do people do that bother you?
Well, this is going to be a laundry list.
If that was the case, our house wouldn't be nearest messy as it is.
Yeah.
Okay, the number one top thing is people who have a baby, a baby carrier, will come into
a restaurant carrying this baby in a carrier, and they, of course, need to get an infant
seat at the restaurant just as their child is.
So in the meantime, they set that baby carrier down on some other table.
The carrier that could have been set in dog shit for all they know, they're going to sit
on some other table that other people are going to eat off of.
Yeah, I know that bother you.
The thing, of course, is me out the most, as women do this, and it pisses me off.
It's when they put grab their money from their bras.
I think it's the most disgusting thing in the world, and it's just...
Could you know where it's been?
It's gross.
It's just gross and it's inconsiderate.
Usually sweaty.
And it's damp and it's stuck together.
I told you the one time when I did it, the one customer and then I broke change and I rubbed
it on my balls.
So you dropped your pants and you were like, "No, no, no, I just, I made the motion.
I made the motion."
I was like, "Yeah, it did go over real well at work, but it was funny and swag."
I'm sorry, so the look on that woman's face was priceless, because I'm like, "I'm like
me, I'm like..."
"Put that in your bra."
Yeah, because I did, I rubbed it right up and down on the crotch, I was like, "If she
can hand me boo money, I can hand her balls with money."
So, yeah, that's probably my biggest pet peeve, because when people do that, it's just so...
And it's, it is, it's wet, it's, no, no, it's, it's not okay.
It's not okay in the...
So you lay that money down and when it dries, I'll take it.
Yeah, yeah.
Give me, next time what I should do is lay the money down and get the hand sanitizer and
just support it all over it.
That would be best.
So...
These questions have turned out better than I thought they would.
Yes.
So often, is your brain on autopilot?
I'm more than a kid.
All the time.
It's easier to go through like that way, I mean, you don't have to worry as much.
No, I'm constantly thinking of work and stuff like that, but I mean, I try not to, I try
not to do one of those things, so I guess that would put me in autopilot.
Well...
And I see people do this at the grocery store all the time, they'll stop and they'll look
at all the product and never mind that the cart is right in the middle of the path and blocking
everybody else.
Yeah.
I think these people must be extremely lonely to live in a universe all of their own with
nobody else in it.
Yeah.
That's true.
'Cause they do.
No, I know.
I just haven't tried to do crazy when we have for a shopping, and that happens.
It happens at the zoo, too, because people are looking one direction and walking in another
direction, not coordinating it.
It's like last week when we went to the zoo.
There was that whole family of like ten people trying to walk in a breast, not on a side
walk.
And we skipped to the other side of the zoo, so we want to keep walking around them for
the creation of the trip.
So, yeah, it's too many people walk around on a pilot, I think, they're just not a reality.
And that's why you see car wrecks and, you know, people dying from accidents because people
just don't pay attention to their surroundings.
So, yeah, all right.
This is a bizarre question.
If when you died, you got put into a room for eternity with people who died the same way,
how would you want to die?
Boredom?
That would not be a fun room to be in for eternity, though.
Well, doing anything for eternity, I guess I need to, I should be, I should die in an
orgy.
That's a little say masturbation or an orgy, yeah.
You took my answer, but even now it would get old.
You know what I mean, it's just, yeah, nothing, yeah, anything was an eternity, this doesn't
seem fun.
I don't care how fun it would be at the moment.
I mean, the eternity just smelled after a while, that orgy would get really bad.
Do you know what my definition of eternity is?
What?
That time period that happens after you come before your partner does.
No, yeah, there you go.
Always seems like an eternity.
Not always, because you're ready to finish and just get up and go, so.
Why do you think we dream?
I, maybe to give our brains a brain a break, maybe to just escape, I think maybe.
I think it's our way of the brain taking a dump these two days.
That's probably, that's probably the point, yeah, just releasing all its random thoughts.
And that's more truthful than not, because they believe that the brain flushes out all
of the poisons and whatever while you sleep.
I don't know.
So your brain is probably getting all kinds of weird stimulus and it's trying to make sense
of it.
Okay.
Let me make sense.
Probably why our dreams are so bizarre.
Yeah, but I had some really weird dreams last night.
You had, you were yellow last night in your dreams.
I was.
Yeah, I heard you.
I remember.
Yeah, because when I made my sandwich at 4 o'clock in the morning, I heard you and your
yellowing a few times, but you have very visual dreams, it seems like you.
But, yeah, that would make sense is that you're brain.
I had some really random dreams last night, and I can't remember what they were.
They upset me when I woke up, but I've since forgotten about them.
And they say that dreams are when your brain moves temporary memory into more permanent
storage.
So, if you don't dream, you'll be more forgetful.
Uh-huh.
That's interesting.
It's interesting.
There's so many things about our brains that we don't know.
Mm-hmm.
So.
Like, why so many people don't have one?
Yeah.
Exactly.
If you could choose the next president in the United States, who would it be?
Pete Buttigieg.
He took my answer, damn it.
That's what I was going to say.
Yeah.
Um, I don't think there's much debate on that at all.
Uh-huh.
And I don't think we need to ask you who your least favorite person is.
I think that's pretty obvious.
Yes.
The A-hole, like I just can't pick a 32-villainy, so yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can't work in McDonald's, but you can be the leader of the free world.
Mm-hmm.
It's amazing, isn't it?
So, um, we won't get on that soapbox right now because I'm pretty imped up about that.
Well, we've only got 15 minutes and we're almost done, so.
Yeah.
How do you think the world should change?
Not vote him in office.
Um, to be honest, just like we said before in the podcast, people just be better, be nicer.
Be the change that you want to see.
You're gonna say, yeah, I mean, if everyone just was 10% better and nicer, imagine what the
world could be like.
Just 10%.
Hmm.
Interesting.
I mean, I often think the people who are just so rapidly homophobic, if they just put
that energy towards something positive.
Not going to hobby.
I mean, just how good they could do.
But there's so far hate and rage that they can't.
And that's all that they have, that's all that they live for.
It's kind of like the people who follow, but so, yeah, that's my answer to that.
You know, just be better people, try to be better.
Uh, how are you?
I agree with that.
Okay.
I mean, you'd rather go on a road trip or take a long flight.
I'd rather not do either.
Not that I want to stay home, but I don't like the idea of driving a long distance.
And I hate getting on a metal tube with wings.
I guess if I want to go on a long trip, I'd take the train.
I'd take a point, yeah, that'd be nice.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd want to take the bus to the drags of society around here.
The smells and sitting next to bad people just always seems like the future is on the bus
with you from the movies.
You know what I mean?
So here we are.
The people who couldn't afford a plane ticket or a train ticket, yeah, we're on the bus.
Yeah.
And the bus stops there just, like you said, it's a two drags of society.
It's like, you know, I'm good.
Yeah, road trips are fun when I was younger, but not so much anymore, but yeah, I probably
want a ticket to take a train like planes, especially those trains that were, oh, they carry
your car with you.
And when you get there, you already have your car.
Yeah.
My sister and brother-in-law have taken those before.
They have one that goes with Bob from Virginia to Farta, so for the snowbirds.
And it's real convenient because they get like a sleeper car.
And then just basically sleep in the sleeper car, and then morning wake up in there where
they want to be, and just get on the car and go.
So yeah, they've done that when they come up to visit New Jersey for summer, so they have
their own car to drive around some.
It probably sounds pretty expensive.
It is, but it's from what he said.
It would be, it's about comparable if you flew, and then you run at a car.
So it's just the convenience you're paying for.
Yeah.
Is what you're doing now, what you always wanted to do when you're growing up?
I didn't know what I do now, existed most, but I didn't know about pawn shops or anything
like that, so I wanted to be a cop, but we don't know what that worked out for the best.
So I mean, I don't hate my job, but it's a job, so not something you would do for free.
No.
No, no, no.
I don't like people that much.
It's like you just said when we went to the market, you just don't like people.
When you deal with them, like I do every day, then you ask me, how many of my customers have
I seen?
Yeah.
I got to feel like a regulatory, like I know who he is, you know what I mean?
So that's why it's like, you know?
Well, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a science fiction writer, but I learned.
I don't know when Stephen King.
Yeah.
It's tough.
When he came to that realization, he could be a starving author, but then he takes one
book and make it big.
Yeah, I could be the next JK Rawlings.
No.
So, you're not a homophobar, transphobesome, but who is that a for us tonight?
Yeah.
Well, that went quite quick.
So what's your favorite joke this week?
What should you tell the person who wants to buy you a coffin?
Not yet?
Well, that's just about the last thing I'll ever need.
That's not your best attempt, but that's good.
That's good.
All right.
We hope you enjoyed episode 105 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
This is Baehr.
This is Curadh.
Goodbye.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh podcast, a production of the Land of Awes
Information Services. We can be contacted via email using the address podcast@awes.com
and Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.
[Music]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
This show is part of the Pride48 Network.
Find all the best shows under the rainbow at Pride48.com.
[BLANK_AUDIO]