Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
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I love you, Curadh.
I love you, Baehr.
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This is episode 142 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to talk about stupid things that Trump has said.
And I want to preface this by saying that I did not correct his grammar, so some of
them are going to be awkward.
He doesn't make sense most of the time either, so I'm going to go first to a female reporter.
"We could say that look doesn't matter, but the look obviously matters.
Like you wouldn't have your job if you weren't beautiful." What a chauvinistic pig, sorry.
And he thinks that's the way life is.
He thinks it's a compliment.
He thinks it's a nice thing to say, and it's not. Do you suppose the reporter took it that
way?
No.
You got your job because you're good-looking, and that's the only reason why.
So how did he get his job?
Money talks, so yeah, just yeah, I know I'm going to laugh at a lot of these, I know him.
To a contestant on the apprentice, "this must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your
knees.
Wow, I don't think I ever watched that show, I never even saw it in passing or anything.
I watched it.
It was terrible.
It was a bunch of good-looking people running around to him, stupid shit.
Yeah, I mean it was, it means to watch it up at the bar.
I don't even really want to know what the context of that was.
Well, of that, yeah, you're dropping to your knees, yeah, yeah, it's kind of a scary proposition.
All of the women on the apprentice flirted with me consciously or unconsciously.
Wow.
So, he's full of himself too, well we already knew that, didn't he go maniac?
So, and what does he think he has that makes him attractive?
His huge... ego.
Oh, I thought you were going to say wallet.
That too, well, he thinks he's got a lot of huge things, remember, everything's bigger and better
with him.
So, and to me, with that screams is, you don't pack much of a punch of anything when you're
out flaunting it that much.
You compare yourself based on your bank account.
So, he's lacking everywhere except his bank account.
Yeah.
But, I mean, even, you've seen him talk about, you know, he gets, he kind of, I guess, his
male hood gets caught in the question, he gets pissed off, but he's always kind of hinting
around that he's hung or well endowed. Or should be hung. Watch what you say.
We can get in trouble for this now.
We might get deported, so, okay.
"I believe in winning.
I'm very good at winning his eyes, apparently, that's all it counts, I guess.
He's, but he's failed in everything he's done except being President of the United States
and he's not good at that.
I mean, he's won the elections, but I mean, he's failed.
How many businesses have he failed?
I'm going to do that to our country and he's in a record base.
Money was never a big motivation for me except as a way to keep score.
If he ever told truth that that's it right there.
I'm going to complete another, I'm sorry, yeah, but none of these, none of these surprised me.
I can literally see him say, every one of these things.
Oh, yeah.
YouknowwhatImean, it's just right up his alley and just no filtering, no self-control, just whatever
spills off of his tongue.
Exactly, and the emperor wears no clothes.
There's, he doesn't have anybody around but b__t l_____s to tell him that he's doing a good
job.
That's what happens when nobody will challenge you.
Yeah.
A bunch of sick offense and just, yeah, to be there to his every woman telling him how good
of a person he is and how great a leader he is, yeah.
And the bad thing is, there was millions of people who voted for him believe the same thing.
That's what's scary.
I wonder if a lot of those people think, well, if he could do it, anybody could, he's not
a politician, he didn't grow up... he didn't devote his life to public service, he bought
that job.
Yeah, yeah, not everyone has that bank account though.
I think everyone thinks if I had that kind of money, I could be president too.
I guess that's what the American dreams told, all right?
It's the land of possibility.
We can do anything we want to do, all right?
Just not good. "If someone screws you, screw them back."
That's such a great idea to live by, especially for the leader of our country.
The leader of the free world, yeah.
Well, that's the problem we're running through right now with all the terrorists and stuff
like that.
He thinks everyone in the world owes us something in that they need to start paying for past
indiscretions and stuff like that.
Let's add up what he owes to the bankruptcies is he left people destitute.
How many people, he's left without jobs, how many people?
How many people he's s_____d out of, there are cities all over the country that he has had
rallies at but he has refused to pay the fees that have just given up because he's got
enough lawyers to push those lawsuits out longer than the country will exist.
"How many bald eagles did wind turbines kill today? They're an environmental disaster."
It can see those words coming from his lips because he doesn't know what he's talking about.
Maybe he saw it as a joke on a meme or something, I mean, how could anybody actually believe
that?
How can people actually vote for him?
He doesn't, I don't think he believes his own, he just like whatever just spills out of
his mouth.
He's got diarrhea in the mouth.
Yeah.
Just whatever comes in his little pee brain just speaks it out loud and that's what comes
out.
"People are chopping off other people's heads and then we're worried about waterboarding."
Once again, the leader of our country says something like that.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, the bar is buried in the ground somewhere.
We've lowered the bar so far.
It's way below zero.
Yeah.
That's what's scary.
Okay.
"John McLean's not a war hero.
He was a war hero because he was captured.
I like people who weren't captured."
My god.
What a piece of crap.
What a piece of c__p.
For a guy that basically, didn't he dodge the draft by saying, you know, hang him or
something like that.
Or bone spurs.
Bone spurs.
Okay.
I mean, pay off a doctor to say whatever they can to get you out of.
Yeah.
And he's trying to call John McLean out or being a war hero.
Can you ever see Donald Trump being in the military?
He would cry, look a little bitch.
The only way he got in the military is to be the leader because the president is automatically
the commander-in-chief.
Yeah.
But yeah, he can never... He doesn't have enough honor in his-to command people have to respect
you.
Nobody does.
No.
They might fear him, but they don't respect him.
Yeah.
I would agree with that.
They're afraid to see what he could do.
I think a lot of people are afraid to see what he could do.
You know, the world leaders, you know, I mean, look what he's doing now.
I mean, he could push us in to world war three.
And he would if it was profitable if somebody made him a deal.
He'd take it.
Mm-hmm.
You're right.
"No more massive injections.
Tiny children are not horses.
One vaccine at a time over time."
I guess this has to go back to COVID.
If you're rich, and you can afford to take your kid to the doctor every week, I suppose
you could space out all those vaccines that they need to get.
Mm-hmm.
But not everybody has that sort of disposable income.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
"I would be the greatest jobs president that God ever created."
I guess he is creating jobs by firing all the federal employees.
Yeah.
Well, and then everything else in between, youknowhatImean, and everything.
All those companies that went bankrupt, I'm sure they all lost their employees.
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't matter to him.
Doesn't...
Monayoda.
No.
Not at all.
No, no sweat off his back.
"I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers on this special
day, September 11th."
Wow.
A national day of mourning, probably one of the saddest days in American history.
Mm-hmm.
That's...
Using it as a PR opportunity.
Mm-hmm.
That makes me sick.
Didn't...
When the towers came down, didn't he say something like that makes my building the best
in New York?
Something like that.
Something along those lines.
Yeah.
That was...
That was his first thought on that.
It improved his real estate.
Mm-hmm.
God.
That one of the most tragic days in American history, he's trying to capitalize on it.
I don't know.
These were supposed to be funny or ironic, but they're just sad.
Mm-hmm.
The thing he says is sad.
It's very sad.
On gay marriage... "It's like in golf.
A lot of people, I don't want this to sound trivial, but a lot of people are switching to
these really long putters.
Very unattractive.
It's weird.
You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three
footers anymore, and I hate it."
So, his comparing gay marriage to something that he hates.
His first thought on the word gay is men holding clubs.
Yeah.
Men weird.
Yeah.
He could suck a bag of...
[laughs]
I'm sorry.
Not really.
This is supposed to be funny, because... If you don't laugh, you're going to cry.
Gay marriage isn't a joke.
No.
He was obviously trying to change the subject onto wherever it was on the top of his head
at the moment.
Yeah.
I'd like to have a recording of that.
Yeah.
To save for posterity, especially when they go after our marriage.
Yeah.
"Well, Bette Midler is an extremely unattractive woman.
I refuse to say that, because I always insist on being politically correct."
Oh, for the love of God, really, it has come out of his mouth. That just really made me mad.
So, he thinks in whenever he-
Two lies in a row.
Yeah.
That Bette Midler is unattractive, and that he's politically correct.
Yeah.
And he really thinks he's politically correct.
And you can't say something and then say- but I wouldn't say that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But-
That's not the way it were.
No.
Wow.
"We're diplomatic in our country and everyone hates us all over the world.
We're politically correct in the world hates the United States."
No.
The world hates you.
But-
I think he said this a long time ago, but he's making it true.
Oh, yeah.
He's trying his damnedest to it.
Um, it appears that no country wants to share their intelligence with the United States
anymore.
So, we have no idea of any covert operations are going on anywhere in the world because
no one wants to sit at a meeting with Donald Trump.
Can you blame them?
I mean, really?
They don't- they don't want guilt by association.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I can't blame them.
And people might say that's unpatriotic, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He's a loose cannon.
It used to be when a president was bad, like George Bush Jr. I mean, he was- he was a buffoon.
But people still respected the office of the president.
That doesn't exist anymore.
No.
I'm not at all- I'm coming to the laughing stock.
We're becoming the punch line.
And- and the rest of the world is going, not only did you do that once you did it again.
Yeah.
That's so scary.
"Rosie O'Donnell is a person who's very lucky to have her girlfriend.
And she better be careful or I'll send one of my friends over to pick up her girlfriend.
Why would she stay with Rosie if she had another choice?"
What a d__k. I mean, like he's- like he's a- a gem.
Every accusation is a confession.
I believe that that means he has tried to- do that- to destroy marriages by sending one of
his friends.
He has no respect for- people, why would he- why would he- why would he respect marriage?
You know?
He didn't respect his first wife.
I mean, look at that.
I mean, you know, and- and many times he's been married in the forest.
Three?
Three, I think.
Yeah.
So- but the Christians love him.
The Evangelical Christians love him 'cause he's a man of Jesus.
Get the- he's a man of himself.
A man of himself.
Full of himself.
And the only reason he- he preaches along with the Bible is to get him himself more votes.
"We're all a little chubby, but Rosie's just worse than most of us.
But it's not the chubbiness.
Rosie is a very unattractive person, both inside and out."
Once again, every accusation is a confession.
Oh, he- he's- he's chubby.
I mean, he's the definition of chubby and- he's a horrible, horrible person, inside and
out.
Yeah.
He's had a bone to pick with Rosie O'Donnell for years.
Ever since he was a little kid.
'Cause he stands up to it.
He's not bullied by him, and she's always stood up to him.
She's never liked him.
She- she- she's thrown him through the- the grinder numerous times, you know, when she was
on The Viewing stuff like that, so- and she still stands up to him.
She's not afraid of him at all.
She could care less, but- and she probably earned her fortune.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't inherit it from Daddy.
Mm-hmm.
And then blow it and then get more and blow it and then get more.
"An extremely credible source has called my office and told me that Barack Obama's
birth certificate is a fraud."
Yeah.
Never mind.
But extremely credible source called my office.
Mm-hmm.
There's some guy out of the blue.
Very credible.
(laughs)
Come on.
Jesus.
Okay.
"Why is the Obama playing basketball today?
That is why our country is in trouble."
The man who plays golf played golf 59 of the first 60 days in office.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
He's making- yeah.
He's trying to call out the expression for playing basketball, which you can play in
a basketball relatively quickly compared to golf, which takes four hours.
Mm-hmm.
And that's if you're hurrying.
And you're good.
You're decent.
So, yeah.
That's a-
And I don't think Trump likes golf because he's a sportsman.
He likes golf because it lets him rub elbows with other ritzy people.
Yeah.
Well, it's, it lets him show off his property too.
That's why women sued to be able to play golf, not necessarily because they wanted to
play the sport because they wanted to have access to those powerful men just like the powerful
men did.
Yeah.
Huh.
I didn't know that.
That's interesting.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
"Obama is without question the worst ever president.
I predict he will now do something really bad and totally stupid to show his manhood."
Was he looking at a mirror when he said that?
Every accusation is a confusion.
Yeah, I don't think that one even needs to be responded upon.
Okay.
On Mexicans...
"They're bringing drugs.
They're bringing crime.
They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.
And some, I assume, are good people.
Didn't he say the same thing about the insurrectionists as the capital?
No, he said it about the Charleston race or the riots in Charleston after the--
I could have sworn that when they stormed the capital, he said they were very good people.
He might have, but I knew that he said it after the whole Charleston, down in the white
national showed up and made the call that ran over in the street.
Oh, yeah.
He said that then too.
Yeah, these are good people.
There's some good people out there.
There's some bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, after a woman got run over in the middle of the street, they're like Nationals
loved one.
They love his ass.
"I like Mexico."
So do I.
Viva.
Yeah.
After what he said, the biggest drugs and crime and rapists.
Yeah.
He likes Mexico so much and decided to call it the Gulf of America.
Yeah.
Which I still can't believe.
I'm never going to call it the Gulf of America ever in my life.
Would you?
Hmm.
I would call it the Gulf between our differences.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Okay.
"What a sad thing that the memory of Nelson Mandela will be stained by the phony sign language
moran who is in every picture at a funeral."
Wow.
My eyelids have blisters from rolling.
Yeah.
Giving the drops.
I mean, who says that him?
Where's the filter?
There is none.
I guess when you're when you think you're the emperor, you can say whatever you want with
no recourse.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
You just nailed that on the head.
It's ridiculous.
"While I can't honestly say I need an 80-foot living room.
I get a kick out of having one."
So, he represents the common man.
Yeah.
Him and his gold toilet.
There's nothing common about him.
I really can't imagine him telling anyone he has a gold toilet because he probably thinks
he doesn't s__t.
Probably.
Yeah.
I don't need a toilet.
I don't come out.
Everything that comes out of me is perfect.
I use it to catch this golden t___s that I make.
"Remember new environment friendly life bolts can cause cancer."
Who told him that?
That sure to trump or this.
You see, have an old light bulb company or something?
No idea.
Probably.
Probably has some sort of interest in one.
On Ivanka...
"She does have a very nice figure if she weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her".
That's just...
I remember this.
I remember that too.
That's just twisted.
Creepy.
Very creepy.
Twisted.
He's talking like a pedophile.
Well, sexual predator.
You know, somebody who grabs women by the p___y.
Yeah.
I am going to have to edit this podcast SO MUCH!
All right.
"I think I would probably get along very well with Russia.
I think I would probably get along very well with Putin.
I think I would probably get along very well with the people in China."
He's gone on to prove this.
Yeah.
Pull, pull, pull.
Yeah.
He's basically become a Putin puppet.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
He worships the granny, walks on.
He aspires to be a dictator or a king, you know, pretty much the same thing.
Yeah.
And Putin keeps getting re-elected because they won't let anybody else be on the ballot.
Like kill everybody else.
You know what I mean?
Or, you know, it was Zelensky?
He got killed.
He was murdered.
That was his opposition.
Hm.
So...
Yeah.
"Ariana Huff is an unattractive, both inside and out.
I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man.
He made a good decision."
I don't know who Ariana Huff is.
It's a name I recognize, but I don't know either.
And who knows if this is even true.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, because that's...
So, he's against gay marriage, but he's okay for infidelity.
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Okay.
What do you want a bet?
The next time there's a hurricane; he wants it to be named Stormy Daniels.
Yeah, I've been kidding.
Well, just give 'em a roll of paper towels, clean it up, will ya?
Oh, these inside jokes, I hope people get them.
"I was the first and only potential GOP candidate to state.
There will be no cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.
Mike Huckaby copied me on this."
I don't know anything about that, so.
There's continual talk about cutting all of those, what they want to call entitlements.
Okay, yeah.
And my Mike Huckaby isn't in Trump's corner, board or whatever, he isn't one of his advisors
like he was during his first term.
Okay.
But I was never so glad when Trump offered him that job because that got my Mike Huckaby out
of Kansas.
Yeah.
It's true.
No, that's good.
And he's never gotten back.
No.
Near as I can tell.
"I've played with people's fantasies.
It's an innocent form of exaggeration and a very effective form of promotion."
And maybe a bit of truth there.
Just the other day, somebody asked him about you, said you could in war with Selensky and
Putin in one day, and he says, oh, I was just exaggerating.
When I said, "Selensky" earlier, and it means "elensky" I meant, yeah, I know you're talking
about it.
Yeah, I can't think of his name right now.
But you know, the one who was killed of the anti-Putin political, yeah.
But thank you.
Okay.
"Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich."
Oh my god.
That's how he...
That sums him up.
That sums him up in a very short sense.
And if he didn't have access to so much money, he'd have been put away in an insane asylum somewhere
by now.
I mean, rich people can be eccentric.
Poor people just...
Oh my god.
So crazy him.
Exactly.
"What a great honor it must be for you to honor me tonight."
Oh my god.
And wasn't this the same speech where he said, "I am the first president to ever address
you in person," and it was a videotape message.
Oh, was it?
No, I didn't know that.
That's hilarious.
That is so funny.
That reminds me of the Big Bang Theory episode where Sheldon moves the bows and Montana and
he gives him a video speech.
And when they all turn around, he's already gone.
You don't remember that much, though.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
"Sorry, losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest and you all know it.
So please don't feel stupid or insecure.
It's not your fault."
It's okay.
I'm giving him...
I'm getting...
Can you buy IQ points?
Yeah.
It's the only way you'd have it.
That's the only way you'd get it in.
No.
Yeah.
Anyone that brags, most people who wear bragged doshas about stuff like that are covering
up the fact that they're not.
So.
People who are smart don't need to tell people they are smart.
Exactly.
So.
"What's the difference between a wet raccoon and Donald J. Trump's hair?
A wet raccoon doesn't have a 7 billion f_____g dollars in the bank.
He said that.
I like the way he talks in the third person.
Yeah.
Like he's not responsible for what he says.
Yeah.
What does his hair have to do with a wet raccoon and the money in his freaking bank account?
He probably heard this joke somewhere and kind of repeated it. Took credit for it.
"This very expensive global warming bullshit has got to stop.
Our planet is freezing record low temperatures and our GW scientists are stuck on ice."
GW scientists are global warming scientists.
Oh, okay.
So, it was cold that day.
So that means global warming doesn't exist.
Yeah.
Well, if you talk to any people who support them, they don't believe global warming.
It says, well, it's, it snowed yesterday, so it can't be global warming.
It's nothing to do with it, too.
You morons.
Never mind that like Texas' power grid goes out every summer because it's so damn hot.
Hot.
Yeah.
And just because it's, it's global warming, yeah, it's, I can feel my blood pressure rising.
"The election is total sham in a travesty.
We are not in a democracy!"
We ain't right.
We're not.
Not anymore.
It's only truthful thing.
And, sorry, and keep careful.
What would possess him to say we were not a democracy?
I mean, that's, that's political suicide for anybody else.
Yeah, but he thinks he's untouchable.
Apparently. "The US cannot allow Ebola infected people back.
People that go to faraway places to help out are great, but they must suffer the consequences."
Oh, no, God.
Horrible.
What a horrible, horrible sentiment.
Yeah.
Even if there was a crumb of that truth, you wouldn't say it out loud.
You're not supposed to, you know, especially when you're a leader of the free world.
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
They must suffer the consequences.
What an ultimatum.
All right.
"If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think
she can satisfy America?" For the love of god!
I mean, really?
So, here's what he things women are for, to satisfy their husbands.
Exactly.
This just makes me dislike the people that I know who voted for him even more.
Really?
Yeah, my, my motto for the year, for the next four years is you voted for this.
Yeah.
Well, mine is F around and find out.
And finally, "I don't have a racist bone in my body."
Bulls.
Yeah.
It's not to the five black kids in here.
Including his spine.
Yeah.
I'm about to blow up the central park rapist, say if they feel the same way, then he doesn't
have a racist bone in his body.
So please tell me you have a good joke this week.
Please, please, please, it's better be like a, a really good one.
Sorry.
Damn it.
A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a felon walking to a bar in the bartender says,
What can I get you, Mr. President?
That's good.
Okay, that's good.
I was hoping you were going to say something like that when you started with that beginning.
That's good.
For me, that was awesome.
This was episode 142 of the Baehr and Curadh Podcast.
This is Baehr.
This is Curadh.
Goodbye.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast, a production of the Land of Awes
Information Services. We can be contacted via email using the address podcast@awes.com
and Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.
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