Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
I love you Curadh. I love you, Baehr. This is episode 143 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to guess celebrity top or bottom. Okay, that's a spin on this.
I'm wondering what we were doing. These are just guesses. We have no way to personally verify.
Oh, I do. I'm kidding. All right. So, are we just going to run the list of them? Are we going to explain who they are?
Well, you should know who all of these are. These are all gay celebrities.
We're not the best pop celebrity or anything pop culture. So, okay. Okay, we'll play along.
Okay, I guess I'll go. Zachary Quinto.
He's a big old bottom, Have you ever seen his interviews? Yeah, he's a big old bottom.
Who is he? Zachary Quinto. Yeah. It's Mr. Spock. It's Spock in the new Star Trek franchise.
Oh, yeah. Every rendition of Spock is a bottom, I'm sure. No, but now you know who he is.
Producer and actor known for his roles in Heroes, Margin.
Call and Star Trek. What is Margin Call? I have no idea what Margin Call is. But you've seen Heroes.
Yeah. I liked Heroes. I wish they would have kept it on. The first season was good anyway.
But no, I like Zachary Quinto. But yeah, he seems like a big old bottom. And his interviews, yeah.
He takes it and likes it. It'd be interesting to listen to him when he redid that series that
Leonard Nimoy did.
In Search Of.
Okay.
Zachary Quinto did a remake of In Search Of.
Oh, really? I didn't know that.
The problem is it's not available on, I mean, you can stream it like on Prime, but you have to pay for each episode and it's just not worth it.
Yeah. $3.99 an episode.
Something like that.
You don't even get to keep it. You get to watch it once and then, yeah, screw that. That's crazy.
Neil Patrick Harris.
Neil Patrick Harris. Have you heard of him?
Yes, I know who he is also.
How I Met Your Mother and Doogie Howser, M.T.
Mm-hmm.
Top or bottom?
I don't know.
I'm guessing top.
I'm thinking top, too. Yeah. Well, do they have to be both or one or the other?
There has to be one or the other. It's a binary world. You cannot...
Be quiet. Shut up.
All right. Jim Parsons, actor, Big Bang Theory.
I've heard of him.
You know who he is, too?
Mm-hmm. I bet he's the top.
You think so?
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Yeah, I can...
I've seen his husbands on interviews and stuff and his husband looks like a big bottom.
Okay. So, okay.
Well, you're the godfather of...
The godfather of gaydom is on the list, so we can't call you the godfather of Gaydom, so...
What?
Nothing. Don't worry about it.
Nothing.
Jodie Foster, actor and director, Taxi Driver in The Silence of the Lambs.
She's a nasty bottom.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I put Baker as a top.
You think so? I think she's a bossy bottom.
She's got big dick energy.
You think so?
Mm-hmm.
See, I think she's a nasty bottom. I think she's a...
I can't believe we're discussing this stuff.
Especially when we have the most conversation about the lesbian on the list.
Oh, my God. Sorry, Mom.
Guillermo Diaz.
Guillermo Diaz. I don't know who he is.
Half-baked, 200 cigarettes in Stonewall.
Until Stonewall.
Until Stonewall. I don't think anybody knew who he was.
Okay.
He's a big bear.
He's cute.
I would say...
I'd hope he'd be a top.
No, a big old bottom.
Is he a big old bottom?
He's got to be a big bottom.
You think so?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
All right.
I'm just going to have to disagree with you on everyone.
How about Ian McKellen?
Ian McKellen.
Actor Lord Of The Rings and the X-Men series.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Bottom.
I think so.
Huh?
And all of his sex partners are 19-year-old college students.
Yeah.
He seems like a dirty old man.
Yeah.
And he does...
When you see pictures of him out in the clubs, he's always with the young kids.
He's always got them draped on his shoulders and stuff like that.
So, yeah, he's a dirty old man.
Yeah.
Piggy P.
Piggy.
Matt Bomer
actor
White Collar
American Horror history
American Horror Story
okay
don't know who he is
you've never watched
American Horror
I think
I've seen American Horror
maybe he just doesn't stand out
is he in all the episodes
oh, I don't know
I haven't watched that since
what's his name
stop doing it
the hot guy
oh, I know who he's talking about
yeah, I don't know
I would say
picture
let's say top
okay
this is who I was talking about
the godfather of gaydom
Elton John
bottom
yeah
big ol' bottom
big ol' bottom yeah
he's had more Tom, Dick, and Harry
than anyone's ever known
to deal with
Tom's dick is hairy?
you're a mess
all right
Cheyenne Jackson
actor
30 Rock
and American Horror Story
hmm
he's in the news a lot
is he
for what
I think because he's gay
um
probably getting into trouble
hmm
bottom
okay
Colton Hayes
actor
Teen Wolf Arrow
say top
do we have to agree on one
no
I'm not thinking of any of them
okay I guess I'll say top two
you can say bottom
if you believe it is bottom
I'm just guessing
Elliot Page
actor
X-Men
Juno
and the American
or sorry
the Umbrella Academy
top
definitely top
yeah
I don't know how he's going to do that
but
I don't know how he's going to do that
but
I don't know how he's going to do that
top
yeah
I don't remember
singer
American Idol
Queen
bottom
yeah
like all the band members of Queen
they're all bottoms
mm-hmm
except Freddie Mercury
he's six feet under
God
sorry Freddie
all right
Wentworth Miller
you know who he is right
mm-hmm
he's the really hot guy that's in Prison Break
he's bottom
definitely bottom
because he when he was in Prison Break, he was acting I mean he was acting straight
oh yeah
because in every role he's been in since he has
the chiffon just falls out of his mouth
oh really
okay
that's hilarious
don't you remember him on
Legends of Tomorrow or Legends of the Future
whatever the time travel show
yeah yeah
oh, chiffon mouth yeah yeah yeah pearls are going everywhere yeah yeah you're right I forgot about that big old bottom Rosie O'Donnell big dick energy she's a top she's a mean angry top too I mean you know she is why do we get so into the lesbians
I'd like to see a picture of her sticking at her tongue
mm-hmm
I think I'll have to reel it back in
a lesbian with a hard on
yeah
God
you're a mess
oh no
Ricky Martin
he's probably a top
nah
if he and I met he'd bottom him for me
you think so
I know he would bottom for me
okay
I figured
he probably bottomed quite a bit when he was a kid
that's why he probably wants to be a top
sorry I'm just calling it how I see it
all right
maybe for these people who
this is their first episode they hear
they want to know what bottom and top means
yeah
we're talking about pajamas
yeah
their favorite type of pajamas
they want a big angry top
I don't want a big ass top
I don't want an angry top
get out of here
Lily Tomlin
once again, I think she's
no
I think she's a bottom
um
what is her wife's name
Joan Wagner?
I don't know
the woman who writes all of her jokes
oh, really, I didn't know that
bull dyke energy
really?
I think she's the top in the relationship
so that makes Lily Tomlin the bottom
okay
Sam Smith
Oscar winning singer and songwriter
you know who he is?
yes, I know who Sam Smith is
I think he's probably a bottom
he's probably a bottom yeah
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
big old bottom
he'll probably surprise us though
probably
but he seems like a bottom
yeah
I'll bet
many men have taken him home thinking he would service them and got a big surprise
yeah
okie dokie
Barry Manilow
bottom
next
there's not even a question
sorry Barry
I don't think he listens to us
no but it's still funny though because I don't care
who you are that's some funny shit
bottom
next
oh god
George Takei
bottom
yeah, also bottom
his husband is pretty hot
yeah
his husband puts out big dick energy though too
you know what I mean so
but yeah
I wish I could remember his name
yeah, I know
they've been together for quite a while, haven't they?
mhm
what
yeah
even publicly they've been out
yeah
before
George Takei came out
there was no
it was kind of a secret but
did I tell you about when he hit on me?
mhm
yeah
so
you would have found out
I could have been his husband
yeah
Ezra Miller
he's just a little kid
I know he's not
you remember him in the flesh?
yeah
I'd say he's a bottom
yeah, a bottom
yeah
um
Harry bottom
yeah
Dan Levy
actor of Schitt's Creek
is it Levy or Levy?
Levy, Levy
depends on if you're Jewish or not
pretty much
depends on what part of the country you're from
mhm
well
he's a bottom with big dick energy
yeah
so
Sean Hayes
actor of Will and Grace
oh top
yeah
sure
we'll go with that
um
mhm
some of these people would be surprised though I bet
well um
let's make it our mission to find out
we'll start with Sean Hayes
mhm
yeah
mhm
well, no surprise there
mhm
Cassandra Peterson
Peterson
I'd say bottom
I think
I bet she's too surprised
well, most people aren't going to recognize her name
no
I didn't know it until I saw
Elvira
yeah
she um
is a famous person who can go out into the world
and nobody knows who she is
mhm
because without the push up bra and the stacked hair
yeah
you don't
I mean she's not even a brunette
she's
yeah
like a strawberry blonde or something
mhm
so
she can go out into the world
mhm
nobody knows who she is
but what should you say top or bottom
bottom
okay
Lance Bass
bottom
mhm
you had to think on that one
mhm
well, there's the
bass
bass or bass
there's no bass
no bass in his voice
no
mhm
Sarah Gilbert
mhm
I
she puts off big dick energy
she
what was her character's name on the comic
Sarah
um
oh my god
I'm completely blank
it's something along the lines of
the bratty daughter on
on
Darlene
yeah
big dick energy
but I
I think
I
'cause
her wife for a while was the singer for non-blondes
she puts off big dick energy
mhm
real big dick energy
and
I don't know
I
I think
so, every night they have to go out and find a bottom
yeah
I think so
mhm
David Berkta
you recognize that name
mhm
he's the American actor and chef
husband of Neil Patrick Harris
hm
you think he's the bottom
no, he's the top
you think so
hm
you think so
mhm
welcome
hello
we should
we should verify that
yeah
about
Robert Kant
American actor known for his role as Ben Buckner
of the Showtime series Queer as Folk
um
I
I could go either way on him
mhm
he could probably go either way on me too
yeah
yeah, I don't know who he is
oh
um
you don't
yeah
you don't even recognize the picture
not really
hm
he was the big muscly guy on uh Queer as Folk
ok
so
he's probably a bottom then
probably
a lot of them are when they're like that
hm
Luke McFarlane
bottom
you remember him?
mhm
I remember when you didn't remember who he was
mhm
really until Bros came out nobody knew who he was
yeah, really yeah that kind of put him on the map didn't it
mhm
he's also kind of a big muscular guy so I'd say he's bottom
yeah
like I said a lot of them are trying to
hide their insecurities
Dan Butler
known for his role as
Bob Bulldog Briscoe on the TV series Frasier
I never saw that show
oh
I don't like Kelsey Grammer I don't like his politics even more
oh well ok
but Dan Butler
I think he was an out gay actor even then when Frasier was being produced
oh
and kind of like Neil Patrick Harris he played a womanizing straight man
oh really
that's hilarious
they do it great I mean it's kind of like watching well like Eric Stonestreet plays a brilliant gay man he's as straight as can be but he plays a hell of a gay man
mhm
I bet I could make him gay
you know what I'm talking about
no
my god what happened to my husband
mhm
Wanda Sykes
mhm
top
do you think she's married to a French woman?
so?
I don't know like the way she
you've never seen her interviews about her for her wife
mhm
it's hilarious
she acts like she's smoking and stuff it's a riot but
I think she's probably an angry bottom
because
well, she's an angry everything
yeah, I like Wanda Sykes though
Richard Chamberlain
he's still alive?
did you dig him up from?
I think he's still alive, isn't he?
I think so but he's really really old
mhm
I didn't know he was gay
you didn't?
no, I had no idea
it was a huge scandal at the time
really?
you know the star of Shogun it was gay
mhm
he hid it
he did not want anybody to know
mhm
yeah, the closet's kink screaming and kicking
well ok
um but we haven't decided um
um bottom
bottom probably bottom
yeah, those closet cases they're all bottoms
mhm
Andy Cohen
bottom
you think so?
yeah, I think so
he's probably a demanding bottom
he's probably down on his knees most of the time
mhm
Wilson Cruz
mhm
I think top
yeah, I don't know who he is so
the doctor on Star Trek
oh ok ok ok yeah
what did you say?
bottom
top
you said top oh ok bottom
mhm
I guess we'll have to take him out and see which one of us gets him
mhm yep there we go
Thomas Decker
you recognize him?
mhm
John Connor in Terminator
the young John Connor
ok
I didn't know he was gay either
mhm
ok so I'll say bottom
bottom yeah bottom
we're getting towards the end
Billy Eichner
he's probably a top
yeah, because everything about him screams bottom
yeah
so
especially Billy On The Street
yeah
so, I think he's I think he's you think he's
reversal
mhm
yeah
how about
the queen of gaydom
Ellen DeGeneres
top
I think yeah
yeah
big dick energy
mhm
not really
tiny dick energy
yeah
ok
is that it?
that's it
alright well you got a joke for us this week?
mhm
what do we got?
have you ever read the instructions on a stick of deodorant?
no
here we go
it says remove cap and push up bottom
and I'll bet that'll make your fart smell great
get out of here
oh, get out of here shut up
I'm done with you
this was episode 143 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast
this is Baehr
this is Curadh
goodbye
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast,
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