Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
Thank you for listening to the Land of Oz Information Services podcast.
I love you Curadh. I love you, Baehr. This is episode 144 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to discuss basketball terminology.
The look on your face. You love this. So, are you going to read them or am I going to read them?
I guess I will read them because I don't have any idea what any of them are.
Okay.
Take it to the hole.
It means when the basketball player brings the basketball to the rim.
The hole.
I think that's when he puts his penis in the anus of the other player.
Yes, but you said basketball terminology, not porn terminology. Smartass.
They're really banging down low.
This is going to be a long episode.
It means when they're banging down low.
They're bodies against each other.
Down below the rim.
See, this is why you're doing this.
To get more shit out of me.
And I don't think any of these are official terms. These are just the words that the announcers use.
Yeah, none of these are official basketball terms.
Penetrate up the middle.
It means you take the ball down the lane.
I know what it means when I do it.
Yes, I know you know it.
They're double teaming him.
Two against one. What does it mean to you?
I think that it's a three-way, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Double teaming.
No.
Rimming.
It means when they're jumping around the rim.
Basically, playing around the hoop.
That's the rim. It's the hoop.
With their tongues?
No, their hands. Even better.
God.
He was riding him out of bounds.
Basically, means when they're pushing him out of bounds.
What?
See, people can't see the looks on our faces while we're doing this.
A player with a massive facial.
That's, that can't be real. Come on.
Did you throw that one in there just for fun?
No.
Well.
Well, I think what they mean is when they dunk the ball in someone's face.
Okay.
What's it mean to you?
When I dump my balls in your face.
It's a facial, yes.
Remember, people do listen to this.
Oh, God.
They're really pounding it hard inside.
It means they're throwing the ball down in low.
I have another idea.
What's that?
When they're pounding it hard inside.
Okay.
What is it?
It has to be harder.
You can't pound it.
There you go.
They're getting deep penetration down the middle.
They're getting the ball on the inside.
That's the goal, isn't it?
Yes.
It is for me.
Yes, I figured it was.
They need more shots towards the rack.
No, that's something you don't want to say.
It means deeper shot to score more points.
So, you have no interest in that one, the rack?
Probably not.
Okay.
He shoots it right in the man's face.
That's what it says.
Nope.
Not doing it.
I hardly ever do that.
Oh, God.
In and out.
When the ball goes in and then comes back out.
What?
Yeah.
I'm thinking something similar, but it's not the ball that's going in and out.
Yeah.
I wonder what it is.
Go all the way.
They're taking the ball to the hoop.
All the way.
I know.
We all know what it means.
We go all the way all the time.
Mad handles.
Can dribble the basketball really well.
I don't get it.
Your handles are your hands.
You're mad.
Mad handles.
Mad means good.
That means you can dribble the basketball really well.
Okay.
From the hole.
I don't get that one.
I hate it when they do that in porn.
From the hole.
Get out of here.
I mean, who does that?
Pulls it from the hole.
Pulls it out and then.
And then.
Yeah.
No, that's porn.
That's porn.
Yeah.
Okay.
The recipient of some beautiful penetration.
That's?
Just like you.
Shut up.
Is this an embarrass me moment?
Mm-hmm.
Will we have the recipient of some beautiful penetration?
Mm-hmm.
He's getting whatever he wants out there.
It means he's getting me scoring from anywhere he wants.
Just like me.
Mm-hmm.
Anywhere you want.
He looks like he can do this all night long.
Just like you.
Means anything can score all night long.
Means he lasts more than four minutes.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
The coach needs to give him some blow.
That's no way.
I've never heard of that before in my life.
I don't know what that means.
In basketball terms, I have no idea.
Oh, I've seen some videos like that.
Yeah.
The coach gives him some blow.
Mm-hmm.
I bet you have.
I bet you've received and given some blow, too.
He reaches for his balls.
That's, you see that literally and figure it was the other time in basketball.
So, he can just, however you want, go for that one.
Does that mean he's got long arms?
Yeah.
He is reaching in.
Trying to reach to get the ball.
Reaching in on him.
Yes.
Not reaching around.
Reaching in.
He strips him of the ball.
Takes the ball.
Takes it?
Yes, takes the ball.
Takes it and runs with it?
Yes.
He steals it from him.
Could be painful.
Mm-hmm.
He needs to get more lift.
He needs to get more lift in his Jimmy.
I guess it's jump shot.
I don't know.
I guess it's jump shot.
I mean, I've never, I haven't heard more Jimmy in forever.
Hmm.
So, I guess you're using that word again.
But I imagine that means he needs to get more air in his jump shot.
Hmm.
The ball squirted loose from his hand.
It means he lost his mad handle.
Got it.
That's what happens if you don't have a boyfriend.
Yes.
Here we go.
Here's another good one.
Eating some rim.
Run with it.
God.
I feel like I'm in fourth grade.
You can ring it up from downtown.
It means he can shoot from anywhere.
What does it mean to you?
Well, I don't know.
I don't.
I don't usually go downtown.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I don't think I ever have.
That's fun.
Hmm.
He's filling it up.
It means he's scoring a lot.
I think it means he's too well endowed.
That could be it, too.
Watch him get nice and big down low really gives his man a target.
It means he's giving him a big target to throw the ball into.
He's got a big butt.
Yeah.
Really, that's what it means, but it means he's making a larger area for him to get the ball.
Hmm.
He does a great job coming to the ball point.
It means he knows where to go.
I think it means he's edging.
Hmm.
No, I know what it means in basketball terms.
I don't know what it means in porn terms.
Ha, ha, ha.
That's what they teach you in school, active hands.
I thought they made fun of it.
That's how you get hairy palms.
Ha, ha, ha.
What?
Well, my mom says if you do that, you'll go blind, but they say only until I have to wear glasses.
Mm-hmm.
Ha, ha, ha.
Hmm.
He's taking a pounding down low.
Ha, ha, ha.
God.
We don't need to talk about basketball.
We don't need to talk about basketball terms anymore.
God.
So, what does that mean?
What's it mean?
It means he's getting the basketball down low, down below the rim.
Of course.
See?
I'm not doing this again.
I'm not.
Ha, ha, ha.
These, uh, these sports announcers must be very sexually frustrated.
Sounds like it.
You have to be ready to help your man out when he gets beaten.
Ha, ha, ha.
Be a teammate and help him out.
I guess.
I don't know.
Does that mean bottoming when you really want to talk?
Ha, ha, ha.
I suppose.
Feed it to the big man.
Give the ball to the big guy.
But then what does it mean to feed it to the big man?
I give the ball to the big guy all the time.
Ha, ha, ha.
God.
He dives for the loose ball.
He's all over the place.
It means he's got hustle.
Ha, ha, ha.
That's what that means.
Well, I know what hustle is.
Mm-hmm.
Because I watch porn.
Mm-hmm.
Ha, ha, ha.
Got to get into the right position.
Right place on the court.
That's very critical.
You got to get in the right position or you just can't penetrate.
Mm-hmm.
Ha, ha, ha.
God.
Jesus Christ.
Ha, ha, ha.
He's effective.
Multiple positions.
Because he knows how to get in the right position.
Now you're getting it.
Yes.
He should just shoot it every time.
Yeah.
Isn't that the goal?
God.
He just stuffed it in.
Okay.
Self-explanatory.
Ha, ha, ha.
He can get up there with the rest of them.
It means he can jump high.
Ha, ha, ha.
What's mean in porn?
Ha, ha, ha.
Dr. Pornography.
Ha, ha, ha.
Going back door.
Well, we all know what that means.
Ha, ha, ha.
What?
Going back door.
Yeah.
I'm under the baseline.
What does that mean?
That means what it means.
I know what going to the back door is.
What's it mean?
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
When you're standing behind.
Ha, ha, ha.
There you go.
That's what we got.
All right.
What's your joke this week, Dr. Pornography?
This has got to be the fastest one we've ever done.
Thank God.
It was the most embarrassing.
Ha, ha, ha.
What does a player do after he's won the finals?
What does a player do?
Ha, ha, ha.
Turns off his PlayStation.
Ha, ha, ha.
Pretty much nowadays.
Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, God.
All right.
This was episode 144 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
This is Baehr.
Goodbye.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
Thank you.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast,
a production of the Land of Awes Information Services.
We can be contacted via email
using the address podcast@awes.com
and Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.
Thank you for listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast.